I’m not here to tell you, “It’s ok, you’ll figure it out one day,” or “where you are is exactly where you’re meant to be” or “trust the process.” Because that’s BS.

If you’re here reading this article, it’s because you googled “what should I do with my life” which also likely means that there’s something inside you that isn’t satisfied. 

Something scratching at you, urging you to do more, and to be more — you know you’re not living up to your full potential.

So if you’re serious about figuring out what to do with your life, read on, friend. 

I too, didn’t know what to do with my life

The feeling of not knowing what to do with my life is very familiar to me. In fact, some might say “dissatisfaction” is my middle name.

I’ve never been one to just settle for what life hands me, or to follow the pack and feel ok with that. Why? Because I’m restless. Antsy. Future-focused. Searching. Deep-thinking.

And I’ve tried MANY things before finally getting it right

• I tried environmental education… that wasn’t it.
• I tried youth education… that wasn’t it.
• I tried project management… that wasn’t it.
• I tried digital marketing… that wasn’t it.

Then finally — finally! — after 15 years of working in over 30 different jobs, I found something I actually wanted to stick with (at least for now): career coaching.

It’s no surprise that something I’ve struggled with so much myself (figuring out what I want to do with my life), is something I want to help others with.

And so, I came up with a winning formula, and a 3 step process, that I’m now going to share with you!

The Winning Formula to Help You Figure Out What to do With Your Life

Before we dive into the 3 steps, here’s a super simple hack: Look at a struggle you’ve faced in the past and have overcome, then help others do the same.

It doesn’t have to be for your work, but I guarantee that will give a lot of meaning and fulfillment to your life.

But, I digress. There’s a lot more to this story.

This article is really all about showing you my 3 step process for figuring out what to do with your life, so here goes. 

And if you want to dive deeper than just this article, I invite you to take my FREE Quiz: What’s Blocking Your Dream Career?, where you’ll uncover what’s holding you back and how to move forward.

Step #1 – Check Your Mindset

From 10+ years of working with hundreds of people to help them figure out what to do with their life, the biggest thing I’ve learned is this:

Most people actually know what they want to do (at least in a general sense), there’s just a big lot of fears, self-doubts, and excuses getting in the way.

Now, if you read this and find yourself thinking, “Ummmmmm, no. I actually DON’T know what I want to do” — bear with me here. 

Because even THAT is a story you are telling yourself; it’s a limiting thought, that if played on repeat in your head, WILL hold you back from having more clarity. (It’s kinda a crazy circle, right?!)

You might also find yourself saying, “But I don’t know what I don’t know. I don’t know everything that’s out there, so how can I move forward?”

Again, check yourself. 

You’re never going to know everything that’s out there — I work in career development and I wouldn’t even claim to know HALF of what’s out there. You know enough of what’s out there to find something meaningful and enjoyable to get started, I promise.

It’s not about finding THE ONE RIGHT THING, it’s about finding A RIGHT THING (of which, there are multitudes, btw.)

So, my friend, are you willing to let go of your limiting stories and excuses about why you cannot possibly know what you want to do, and open yourself to the prospect that somewhere within you, clarity already exists?

I hope you answered yes. Because guess what?

There’s no one right thing you’re supposed to do with your life

There are many right options for you and your life — let go of monogamy when it comes to your life choices, and start welcoming in career and life polyamory!

Life is a process of guessing and checking. Go with A POSSIBLE right thing you MIGHT like to do right away, and see where that takes you. The best you can do is the best you can do with the information you have available. (FYI – in steps 2&3, I’ll guide you through how to gather the best information possible in order to find the things that are most likely to be a fit.)

The 36 different jobs I’ve had to date? That’s what got me to where I am today (rocking and loving my location-independent coaching business for over 10 years now.)

The different things I’m experimenting with both inside and outside of my business, right now? That’ll get me to the next thing (wherever or whatever that is.)

So, to get you started, here’s a reframe for you.

Instead of asking, “What should I do with my life?”, consider contemplating, “What’s the NEXT thing I want to do in my life?”

Want to check in deeper on your mindset and some of the ways it may be limiting you from knowing what you want? 

Spend some time reflecting on the following questions:

• If I’m totally honest with myself, how does staying stuck in indecision about what I want to do with my life serve me? What’s the payoff?
• What are the expectations (or, more likely, perceived expectations) of how I should be living my life? Where do these expectations come from?
• If no expectations existed, what kind of life and career would I want to build?
• What fears and self-doubts come up for me around building the kind of life and career I want? (even if the kind of life/career I want is vague right now? For example, “running an online business where I can live and work from anywhere” or “being retired by 50”.)
• If I had no fears or self-doubts, what would I be doing differently in my life right now?
• If I knew 100% that I would succeed, what would I want to do?

I challenge you to sit with pen and paper, turn off distractions, and really give yourself the space to reflect on these questions.

The goal here is not to get rid of your fears and self-doubts (those are inevitable when it comes to building our ideal career & life). Rather, it’s to shine a light of awareness on them — because with awareness comes choice.

Meaning, we can choose to act despite those fears and self-doubts (or not).

Once we’re totally honest with ourselves about our desires (even if they’re vague right now), and once we’re totally honest with ourselves about our fears around those desires, we can choose to act despite those fears and self-doubts (or not.)

Dodging the fears and self-doubts altogether is not an option. No one creates the kind of life they want without acting despite the ton of fears and self-doubts they have (myself included.)

If you feel like you’re ready to commit to acting, despite your fears and self-doubts, it’s time to move onto step two of figuring out what you’re going to do with your life.

Don’t forget, if you want to dive deeper than just this article, take my FREE Quiz: What’s Blocking Your Dream Career?, where you’ll uncover in more detail what’s holding you back and how to move forward.

Step # 2: Get Clear on Who You Are and What You Believe In

To live a fulfilled life is to live a coherent life, where who you are, what you believe in, and how you spend your time, all align.

“A coherent life is one lived in such a way that you can clearly connect the dots between three things: who you are, what you believe in, and what you’re doing.” –Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

That means it’s time to do a little research on yourself

There are a few different sub-steps in step two that will help you complete this research which I will go over with you in this section:

1. Know your strengths (aka. what you’re good at)
2. Know your values (aka. what’s most important to you in your life)
3. Identify the challenges/opportunities you care about in the world

Step A: Know Your Strengths

Your strengths are what you’re naturally good at. You might not realize you have a particular strength because it always comes easily to you, and so you may assume it comes easily to everyone else too.

When we’re using our strengths, we’re most often enjoying what we’re doing — a career that uses our strengths should be non-negotiable in our lives.

To help you get clear on your unique strengths, I wrote a separate article on how to figure out your strengths.

Step B: Know Your Values

Your values are basically what’s most important to you in your life. For example, mine are freedom, curiosity, new experiences, and health/vibrancy. You choose how you define your values.

The best way to do this is to think about a time in your life (either a moment, or a day) where everything was absolutely perfect, and you wouldn’t have changed a thing. Write out the experience and what you loved about it. 

Ask yourself, what are the values you’re noticing?

For example, if the experience that comes to mind for you is hiking by yourself in Thailand, some of the values might be independence, travel, adventure, and freedom.

If you’re really stuck on coming up with values, I recommend reviewing Max Neef’s list of 9 fundamental human needs — what values come up for you as you read this list?

Once you have your list of values, rank them until you get it down to your top 3–5. 

Step C: Identify The Challenges/Opportunities You Care About in The World

What are some of the challenges/opportunities you see in the world around you?

Think about documentaries you watch, blogs you subscribe to, newspaper articles you’re drawn to, magazines or books you read, YouTube videos you watch, or topics you love to talk about — write out a list of the themes/topics you’re most drawn to.

Once you have your list of topics/themes, go through each one to identify the challenges/opportunities that exist within each area. 

By identifying challenge and opportunity areas, you are identifying where there is potential to add value (because adding value is an essential component of a viable and meaningful career.)

For example, let’s say you’re most drawn to the topic of food: diet, nutrition, health, wellness, and food security are all topics of interest.

When it comes to health, some of the challenges you identify might be obesity, diabetes, low energy, anxiety, and depression.

Some of the opportunities might be public health education, functional medicine, supplements, or cleaner diets.

• What kinds of businesses or organizations are working in the challenge/opportunity areas you’ve identified?
• How could you contribute your strengths in those areas?

(Side note: Don’t be afraid to think outside of the box. Just because you believe in the opportunities a healthy meal delivery company offers, doesn’t mean you need to become a nutritionist, expert in healthy meals, or delivery person. A healthy meal delivery service needs all kinds of people with a variety of strengths and skills: sales, marketing, project management, administration, web/app development, product design, UX/UI design, e-commerce, bookkeeping, accounting, people management, customer support, lawyers, and probably a number of other things I’m not thinking of!)

Remember, the main goal is to start thinking about how you can align what you do with what you believe in and who you are.

Once you feel like you truly understand your values, and how they might best align with your path forward, it’s time to move onto step three!

Step #3: Get out and make stuff happen

Fun fact: People who create the life and career they want aren’t there because they have 100% clarity all the time, or because they have no fear.

They’re living the life they want because they’ve taken risks, put themselves out there, failed A TON, and have been willing to get uncomfortable — despite their fears, insecurities, imposter syndrome, and not knowing WTF they’re doing sometimes.

Most people tend to think they need clarity before taking action, when in reality, it’s usually the other way around (i.e., clarity often comes from taking action)

Could you ever know you love working on teams, without actually working on a team first?

Could you ever know you hate working in open office spaces, without actually working in an open office first (and realizing how hard it is to get any work done)?

As a shy, introverted child, I wouldn’t in a million years have thought I’d be good at (let alone enjoy) public speaking —yet, low and behold, after a few public speaking opportunities where I received positive feedback, I eventually came to enjoy the possibility of sharing ideas with an audience that way.

When it comes to taking action, there are no WRONG actions you can take (assuming you’re not causing harm to others)

Yes, some actions will be more supportive than others, but even signing up for a salsa dancing class when you want to start a business could be how you end up meeting your business partner! (PS — If you’re seeing similarities between careers and dating, you wouldn’t be the first.)

That being said, here are some reflection questions to guide you in taking the actions that are most coherent for you:

• What are some possibilities for getting involved in the challenges/opportunities you care about, right away?
• What are some ways to bring more of your values/strengths into your life, right away?
• What’s an online course related to something you believe in and/or a skill you want to develop, that you could start tomorrow?
• Who’s someone doing something you admire or are potentially interested in doing yourself? When will you contact them for a conversation? (Check out my article on How to Request, Conduct, and Follow-up on an Informational Interview to get all the details and etiquette surrounding these types of conversations.)
• What volunteer opportunities are you interested in?
• Where do you need to do more research?
• Where could you find beta test clients to launch your new side business or freelance service?
• How could you conduct a mini-experiment (i.e., prototype) for your business idea, with minimal risk?
• What’s one small action you can take right away tomorrow morning, to move you forward?

Once you’ve reflected on these questions, write down the action (or actions) you’re committing to on a piece of paper. Be specific with exactly what you will do and by when.

Now, remember, all of this is a process — it’s the process of life, not the destination of life. So guess what?

Once you’ve taken some action(s), go back to step 1. 

Check your mindset, reflect on who you are and what you believe in, then take some more action. Continue to rinse, repeat and refine this process as you get to know yourself and love your life more over time (although a warning against expecting this process to be linear — life is messy, so prepare for some upside-down, backward, topsy turvy-ness along the way).

I acknowledge you for making it this far, my dear reader. This tells me you’re truly committed to feeling fulfilled, actualized, and satisfied in your life.

I also want to acknowledge that not everyone has the freedom to do what they choose in life and live out their desires, and not everyone has the privilege of contemplating what they want to do with their life.

I’ve written this article for those of us who are lucky enough to do these things — let’s not take our freedom to do what we want in life for granted.

Wrapping it Up

I truly hope this article helps you find some clarity, and that you figure out what you want to do with your life – but believe me, it’s a process. And I’m here to provide guidance, support, and accountability to help you on your path to career clarity.

If you’ve found this article helpful, there’s a few very important steps you can take next:

1. Take my FREE Quiz: What’s Blocking Your Dream Career?, where you’ll uncover in more depth what’s holding you back and how to move forward.
2. Ready to take things deeper? Sign up for a Career Transformation Consultation with me, where we can explore if working together is a good fit.

Hope to see you soon!

Rebecca